


Just Be Friends

by MonochromeMog



Series: Vocaloid Songs Inspired Fanfics [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Awkwardness, Dean is really hurt, Dean is sorta asshole, Guilty Dean, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt Sam Winchester, Incest, Just Be Friends, M/M, Memories, Moving On, Sad Dean, Sad Sam, Sam is really hurt, Sam-Centric, Wincest - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonochromeMog/pseuds/MonochromeMog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Fate that connected us<br/>Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life<br/>Goodbye my loved one... This is the end<br/>Now we look go on without looking back</p><p> </p><p>This is the end.." - Just Be Friends, Luka Megurine</p><p>*artwork has been added.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Be Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Incest, angst
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN or it's characters.
> 
> Enjoy!

Just Be Friends

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I remember yesterday morning, I felt like I had been cut with glass shards... Not on a specific body part or anything, but just everywhere... My heart, my fingers, my legs, feet... Everywhere... Maybe I had been gathering glass shards yesterday with Dean, I'm not entirely sure, everything feels like a blur. 

Actually, any activity spent with Dean is usually just a white blur; I don't feel excitement or love during the supposed 'precious' moments with my partner, in fact, all I feel is lonliness and emptiness. At times, I would feel happiness, but not that often. Is that weird? It was just sometimes, Dean would come across a pretty brunette or a woman that reminded him of Lisa and he would spend a night with her instead of me. I'm not stupid, I know what goes behind those closed motel doors. I know Dean is getting bored of me; all because I sometimes just want to read during nights and not have sex. 

Sometimes, I wished Dean would break it off, but at the same time, I didn't want to lose anything Dean and I shared. I'm not sure if he will break it off, but if he does, I hope he'd do it soon... 

Things have been awkward between us for a while. There would be times when we're relaxing that I would move my hand to hold his, but then he would move his away, almost like he was disgusted by my touch, he would glance my way then return his eyes else where. When we would have dinner, we would sit in complete silence, any attempt for small talk was completely ignored and abandoned. 

Why is Dean making me suffer? 

He clearly isn't happy here, he rather be with Lisa and Ben, not with me. He's only hurting me more than he needs to. Maybe I deserve it, I did start the apocolaypse, I did trust a demon over my own brother, maybe I deserved to be hurt for all the wrongs I did. 

"Sammy... I'm sorry, but I..." 

Dean spoke one day, his eyes casted down. 

Were these the words I wanted to hear?

The words I have longed to hear ever since I found out how Dean spends his free time? 

"I think we should stop this." 

Dean wasn't looking at me, his eyes were locked on the far wall. His brows were creased into unhappy lines and tears welled in his green eyes. 

"I..."

My throat closed up. Even if these were the words I wanted to hear, I couldn't bring myself to actually say what I wanted to. A knot formed in my stomach and tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, I looked down, the tears rolling off my nose. 

"I understand..." 

I managed to get the words I needed out, but I couldn't try to cover how hurt and vulnerable they sounded. Dean put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up. Through his tears, he let a wobbly smile spread across his freckled face. 

"Just be friends." 

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Two weeks later, I couldn't help my mind wander. I wonder what Dean would be doing right now, or what we would be doing if we were still together. Would we be sitting on the couch, just chilling out with my head on his lap? 

Or would everything be awkward again?

Ever since we broke it off, I haven't left my small apartment. We stopped hunting after we became a couple, so it didn't really matter. We thought it would be better if we didn't live in the same place, I resided in a small apartment in Kansas and Dean probably went back to live with Lisa and Ben. He would be happier with them anyways, he doesn't love me anymore. Not as a lover or a brother. Our relationship breaking off has made everything awkward between us, we haven't contacted each other in two weeks. To be honest, I don't think anything will ever be the same again. 

I feel hollow inside, I live alone. No one to offer me comfort. I would say I envy Dean because he has Ben and Lisa to comfort him about the break up, but I have no one. I could always drink away my sorrows in beer in the bar down town, but I don't have the energy to move all the way there. Is this what depression feels like? Not having enough energy or motivation to do anything? I'm not sure.. 

I remember times I spent with Dean. I remember when we were younger and how we used to spend time in the Impala, sticking army men in the door and lego in the vents. They would remind us as our time as children, Dean never removed them and I never encouraged him to. I remember we would sit on the hood of the Impala and look the stars that painted the night sky. 

But those memories don't mean anything to Dean, do they?

He left me, brokenhearted and alone, with no one to comfort me at all. I know that sounds so selfish, but I can't help it. 

I need help... 

I can't keep going on like this; regretting the past, remembering my childhood... Longing after a man I can't have. 

It's time I moved on, it's the end for me and Dean. We're not a couple anymore. 

It's the end for us. 

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After a while, I decided I needed to go out for food. I was running out and it wasn't good for me to just sit around all day being depressed, even though I had no motivation to go anywhere. 

But, here I was, in a grocery store down town with a frown on my face and a decent outfit. I was wearing the brown hoodie my dad bought after he saw I was stealing Dean's leather jacket for warmth. I still fit into nicely since I only got it when I was... 20..? I'm not completely sure, I haven't been sure of anything. 

"Hey, dude..." 

I turned at the voice adressing me, a brow raised. I had a can of soup in my hand, I wasn't good at cooking whatsoever - Dean usually took care of that - so I went with the easiest thing to cook. 

The man in front of me was short with golden locks and champange eyes that shined with curiosity and... Teasing, I think. A lazy smile was plastered on his angel like face and his head was cocked cutely to the side. I blinked at him, before speaking. 

"Sorry, what's wrong?" 

His smile widened, if possible. 

"No, not really, I was just wondering if you were free later." 

I grinned. 

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But, I might be in the mood for coffee later. Do you know any good cafes?" 

"Yep. How 'bout I escort you? I'm sure you won't be disappointed." 

"Yeah, I'd love to." 

I have no idea why fate drew me and Dean together just to tear us a part again, but what I do know that I might be able to move on without looking back. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wonder how Sammy is doing. I left him alone in Kansas and returned to Lisa and Ben. I wouldn't be surprised if Sammy hated me. I did so many things wrong to him. I played him along on a string, knowing how much he was hurting and if I could turn back time I would fix that. 

I don't know if Sammy's alive or if he's married or if he's in a asylum.

I'm clueless about what happens to the kid and it was all my fault. I pushed him away constantly without any second thought. I slept with women in every town we crossed, not even considering if Sam knew or not, but of course he did, because he's a smart kid. A smart kid I took for granted. 

And as I look at the old home video of Sam and I when we were kids and he was pretending he was a commentator and following me around the house, I wanted to turn back time. 

I wanted my Sammy back. 

"Dean, how much do you love me?" 

The 12 year old Dean in the video grinned and spread his arms wide. 

"This much!" 

Dean wasn't able to stop the tears that rolled down his freckled cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write another story called 'Answer' which is a sequel to JBF that tells us how the girl in the song moved on. Sorry that the drawing isn't that good, I'm still learning. xD
> 
> A link to the song (Japanese) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoPzP-MwcLI
> 
> English Version - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj9NKB27kNE
> 
> Feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading! ^^ 
> 
> Oh, and congrats to Ukraine for winning the Eurovision Song Contest!


End file.
